COPING WITH A PERSONAL CRISIS
Your experience was a very special one but this page will let you know how others have reacted in similar situations. It will also show you how you can help normal healing to occur and to avoid some pitfalls. Normal feelings and emotions you may experience.
Of damage to oneself and those we love.
Of being left alone, or of having to leave loved ones.
Of “breaking down” or losing control”
Or of a similar event happening again.
Crises show up humans weaknesses, as well as strength.
For deaths, injuries and losses of every kind.
For all that has gone.
For being better off than others i.e. for surviving, for not being injured, for still having material things.
Regrets for things not done.
For having been exposed as helpless, emotional and needing others
For not having reacted as one would have wished.
At what has happened, at who ever caused it or allowed it to happen.
At the injustice or selflessness of it all.
At the shame and indignities.
At the lack of proper understanding by others and their inefficiencies.
Of loss or love for other people in your life who have been injured or that died at other times.
For all the plans that have never been fulfilled.
For the future and for better times.
Everyone may have these feelings. Experience has shown that they may vary in intensity according to circumstances.
Nature heals through allowing these feelings to come out. This will not lead to loss or control, but stopping these feelings may lead to other and possibly more complicated problems.
Do remember crying can give relief.
PHYSICAL AND MENTAL SENSATIONS
Some common sensations are tiredness, sleeplessness, bad dreams, fuzziness of the mind including loss of memory and concentration, dizziness, palpitations, shakes, difficulty in breathing, choking in the throat and chest, nausea, diarrhoea, muscular tension, which may lead to pain, e.g. headaches,neck and back aches, abdominal pain/tummy ache, menstrual disorders, change in sexual interest.
Your mind may allow the misfortune to be felt only slowly
At first you may feel numb. The event may seem unreal, like a dream, something that has not really happened.
People often see this wrongly either as “being strong” or “uncaring”.
Facing the reality, by attending funerals, inspecting losses, returning to the scene, will all help you come to terms with the event. As you allow the event into your mind, there is a need to think about it, to talk about it and to dream about it over and over again. Children can draw about the event.
It can be a relief to receive other peoples physical and emotional support. Sharing with others who have had similar experiences can help.
In order to deal with feelings, you may find it necessary at times to be alone, or just with family or close friends.
(Courtesy of – The Social Work Department, Beaumont Hospital)